Don Quixote - Roberto González Echevarría, John Rutherford, Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

En un lugar de la Mancha de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme...

 

No I won't translate it for you. Read the book. If you don't think that you can read your way through both volumes, then get an audio version of it--unabridged, of course. This is a story that is meant to be listened to as much as it is meant to be eyeballed, so it is not cheating if you listen to it.